October 19, 2008

Finally, the fall crisp air is making its way to this overheated California county. Its been so long since the weather here required a coat, and I couldnt be more welcoming to the cold afternoons ahead. With the fall weather comes new inspiration, a time where my crochet hooks and sewing binges become a force of its own- as I begin creating new things obsessively. Im excited for this fall season, with no absolute reasons as to why I should- but Ive decided to embrace all that it has to offer since Ive been in longing for it to come all year long. Last night, a few girlfriends and I got together to carve pumpkins! Being something I havent done in a long time, I was excited for the juvenille event! What a perfect way to embrace the season.

School usually will consume my life- especially right around this time. And all the while- even though my posts on this blog have become so scarce- I still write my thoughts. I find myself with so many ideas; things I'd love to see be created- but in reality I dont have the time. Starbucks, (my day job)I believe has caused so much stress lately (&breakdowns/depression) that I now have episodic TMJ. Its painful- but I made it through (thanks to the meds!) Im hoping to use some of my vacation hours soon- just for the hell of it. Because I really dont know how much more I can take before I snap. Its never a good feeling to know your approaching an edge of a cliff. But, its an even worse feeling to not do anything about it and let yourself crash. I think I'll get lost in some books, ideas, thoughts, and maybe emerge a few days later. I just wish there was somewhere I could go away from home- that would settle this undying need to be alone. Ive got so much bottled in- I can't wait to let it out.



p.s
I do apologise if this post feels too personal. I promise- Im normally a lot more light hearted. I just felt you all ought to know where Im coming from currently.
xoxo